Recently I attended a webinar hosted by my performance coach, it was aimed at helping attendees realign their 2020 plans and how to make 2020 positively count despite the worldwide impact of COVID-19. There was a great deal of useful and thought provoking content. What really struck a chord was the discussion around invisible impacts.

For some people, unfortunately, the losses are very real. At the time of writing, over 20,000 people in the UK have died in hospital from this invisible killer. As well as the loss of life, there has been a loss of freedom, job losses, and financial loss to name just a few examples.

Social distancing, unnecessary journeys and once a day exercise are common phrases that weren’t previously heard.

On top of this, I don’t think there is a single person who hasn’t experienced an invisible impact.

What are invisible impacts?

Invisible impacts are those things that you can’t see, maybe something that you expected to have being taken away from you. It could be the loss of a dream or a change in your plan for this year. Unlike real losses these impacts are compared to what was planned to happen.

These invisible impacts can be categorised in four ways……

• Invisible misses - something that would have happened and might still, but not when it was originally planned

• Invisible losses - something that would have happened and now won’t. It’s something that you can’t get back.

• Invisible opportunities - opportunities that have come up that wouldn’t have done had the original plan happened

• Invisible mini gains - things that have happened that wouldn’t have done otherwise

Invisible misses

Olympic hopefuls

Imagine you had been training for the last 4+ years (maybe your entire life) for your opportunity to compete in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, only to find that it has been delayed a year.

You may not have been selected yet, but it was looking likely that you might be.

You may get another shot next year, but how do you train in the meantime? What if you knew that you planned to retire after the games and now that was in question? What if you are not able to maintain your form for another year?

Channel swimming

A bit closer to home, I work with athletes who are training for channel swims and equivalents. The season is completely up in the air. Most people can’t swim. Those who can are doing their best in endless pools and tethered in paddling pools. Many had hoped to attend overseas training camps, most of those camps had to be cancelled due to travel restrictions.

We were due to start training in Dover this coming weekend, we won’t be doing that. We don’t know when or if that can restart and what restrictions and adaptations we’ll need to make.

We don’t yet know if any of the swims will go ahead. If they do go ahead, will the swimmers concerned be able to be physically and mentally fit in time.

If they don’t go ahead this year, they may still go ahead another year. So not a loss, not yet at least.

Weddings

Weddings are generally not planned quickly. They take a year or two of planning. Venues, flowers, outfits, photographers, caterers all need organising to name just a few. A dream of a far away honeymoon. All on hold.

The happily ever after on hold.

What about me?

This year I had major plans. With swimming I had the following booked:

• Channel relay in mid June (delayed from last year)

• Catalina channel solo on 30th June

• Alcatraz solo on 3rd July

• 20 Bridges solo on 5th July

• Channel relay mid August

• Channel relay mid September (delayed from last year)

I also planned to take my small business full time and had resigned from my corporate career.

So what has changed - just about all of it!

• 20 Bridges has already been cancelled. I suspect it’s a matter of time before other swims are cancelled. There’s a slim chance that the August & September relays will go ahead.

• I was in great form. My training was going so well. I felt strong and my speed and technique were improving. Even the first week or two of lockdown was OK, I was doing my strength & conditioning training, I was going out on my bike, I was doing online yoga classes. Back issues and insomnia soon took over and I’m now doing very little. It’s hard to imagine that I was ever particularly motivated or in good form!

• When news of COVID-19 broke and what that meant become clear, I confess I had a moment of reflection when I questioned whether now was a good time to launch a small business. But it didn’t take long before I concluded that it was exactly the right time as people need coaching and support more now than ever before. I was ready. Then my boss at work asked if I would consider extending my time with the company to help keep things stable at these difficult times. I confess to being more than a little shocked by the length of time he was suggesting but I have a lot of respect for him as a leader and respect for the company and what they are doing in response to this pandemic. So I agreed to stay and put my dreams on hold. Whilst I do have more time available for clients than I previously had, it’s not as much time as I would have had.

These are not 'forever’ losses. The business will come. Unless something else happens, the swims can happen in the future.

It’s still a pretty dramatic change of events. I went through shock, sadness, denial, resistance, trying to find a way through - every emotion until I realised that I’d need a new plan. The challenge is that I can’t make that new plan until things start to stabilise again.

Invisible losses

So these are worse than invisible misses. These are things that won’t now happen. Again it is something that you never had, but unlike invisible misses, any hope of it has now gone.

Schools

Imagine studying for two years for your GCSEs or A Levels only for them to be cancelled without warning. Your chance to prove yourself, gone, in an instant. Replaced with uncertainty about how your would get your qualifications. Who would decide on your grade if you couldn't take an exam? How would further education be impacted?

What about leaving assemblies - cancelled, never to be recreated.

Friends that you don’t get to say goodbye to properly.

Gap years in uncertainty.

Jobs hard to find.

Well earned holidays planned for after your exams, gone.

Parties

Did you have a big milestone that you were going to celebrate? Maybe an 18th birthday or some other milestone. The party can happen later of course, but it won’t be on your 18th.

Family

Young children grow up quickly. If you are a parent of a young child, you won’t be able to take them to see grandparents and other family members, nor benefit from their support. If you’re a grandparent, family member or close friend, you’ll have lost the opportunity to see some magical milestones first hand. Those moments won’t be recaptured. Precious early memories with people you love won’t be made.

Perhaps there’s a baby born within the family or to a good friend, one that you can’t visit in those precious early days or weeks. Those are moments you can’t get back. Early bonds that are not made. Zoom is just not the same.

Training

Training that you were expecting to do but now can’t are invisible losses. You didn’t yet have the training but assume that you would have had it and now it’s gone.

If I think about the training I run in Dover, the early weeks are the ones where bonds are made. The water is cooler, the swim durations are shorter as a result. There is more time on the beach. That’s when the friendships are formed. That opportunity is now lost. It’s currently unclear when or if we will be able to train this season.

Invisible opportunities

What opportunities can you think of that this pandemic gives you? Could these be what you now focus on for the remainder of the year?

Perhaps you now have the time to finish off some jobs around the house or read some books that you’ve been meaning to read for a long time. Perhaps you’ve been meaning to take your business online and now is the perfect opportunity for that.

Invisible mini gains

So these are the unexpected positives that you have already experienced during these difficult times. Stop and think for a while and you may well notice some. These are likely to be the things that you’re grateful for.

For me there are actually lots of invisible mini-gains. Here are some of my examples:

• No more 2.5 hour commute

• No spend on petrol

• I’ve starting cycling again for the first time in years

• Spending time (online) with family & Paul each weekend playing monopoly

• Regular contact points with friends over zoom and the equivalent

• Spending more time with my son, Josh

Where do we go from here

Bringing it all together, life is complex right now. There are real losses all around us. We are facing a real but invisible threat and there is a real level of fear. There are inevitably family tensions in some households that are exacerbated by lockdown. There is a loss of liberty.

The whole world is progressing through a grief and / or trauma model. That’s unusual. Most times where there has been a pandemic it has been limited to a city, a country or a region. I’ve not seen something as dangerous as this on a global scale before.

Our NHS heroes are working night and day at great personal risk to treat those of us that succumb to this invisible threat. I can only imagine the personal challenges they are facing. I am personally very grateful for each and every one of them. As I am for everyone still working at their workplace to keep vital services going, whether that is a supermarket, school, or factories to name a few.

Are you feeling exhausted by all the zoom (or equivalent) meetings? People like me have wanted to avoid the very long commute for a very long time, so you could say this is perfect. Yet somehow I’m finding life really draining right now. Are you working from home? Are you finding it more tiring than being in the office? I read this BBC article that helps to explain it. It talks about the stresses of video meetings, including:

• Worries about technology failing

• We are used to having different spaces for different aspects of our lives - work, home, training, friends and now it’s all in the same place

• Being on display the whole time (not only can we see others, we can also see ourselves)

There is no single way to get through these times. There’s no right way or wrong way. We don’t have a blue print of the perfect approach because no one has faced this before. One thing that is important is to meet yourself where you are today. Not where you wish you were or where you think you should be, but where you actually are. You can only move from where you actually are.

Take some time to work out where you are. Think about your invisible losses, misses, opportunities & mini gains. Have a think about what you now want to achieve this year, your priorities may have changed. What do you want to look back and remember 2020 for, we all know some of the negatives, but can you think of some positives too?

If you are simply finding it all too difficult, and you would like some help to navigate through, please do get in touch.